Thursday, May 31, 2012

In divorce with kids, New Yorkers know relationships go on | Hudson ...

The details surrounding divorce mediation may be ever changing, but the fundamentals of divorce are still the same for many New York couples with children. When two people decide to get divorced, they often begin the process with the hope that once their marriage is dissolved, they will be ultimately free of one another.

This hope, while understandable, is often shattered in the face of collaborative divorce resolution with children involved. The reason is because such agreements outline the level of ongoing involvement by both parents once the divorce is settled.

One way that couples seeking divorce may find peace and a realistic idea of their future is by understanding that the dissolution of the marriage is not the dissolution of parenthood. As long as the children are a part of both parents' lives, the parents will be required to maintain a relationship with one another. Many people may find the truth of this less than satisfying if they were in a bad relationship while married, but the fact remains, divorce is not the end of the relationship for most couples with children.

Most couples seeking divorce do not wish to simply restructure their relationship with one another, but instead want complete independence. These desires may cause conflict during the divorce process. Individuals may feel like they are still bound to the whims of their counterpart, when in reality they may be bound by the requirements of their children's needs. Separating the desires of the individuals in the marriage and the needs of the children involved is vital.

New York couples with children seeking a divorce need to consider how parenthood will affect their divorce. Couples need to take to heart that the relationship does not end when divorce mediation ends, but rather a different level of relationship begins.

Still, divorce does not have to be as challenging and complicated as it might seem on the surface. With the right amount of patience and understanding, and the ultimate best interests of all parties maintained as the priority, it can be successful.

Source: The Huffington Post, "Why Divorce Doesn't Always End A Relationship," Vicki Larson, May 21, 2012

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